a new beginning.

Happy Easter!

I apologize for not updating sooner.  The truth is, I ended up getting my drains out the Friday following my surgery (4 days post op) and I have been so busy being NORMAL that I haven’t had time to write.  I have been so amazed at how quickly my body bounced back from my exchange surgery.  I was sure that it might be harder on me given that it was my 3rd surgery in 6 months, but I have had no problems!  I mean… within 5 days I was cheering on the best team in the country… the UK WILDCATS… within 7 days I was back to work full-time, within 9 days I was back walking my neighborhood as usual, and within 2 weeks I was doing light (VERY LIGHT) yard work.

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since my exchange surgery and I head back to see Dr. Noel on Friday.  As long as everything looks good, I will get clearance to start working out again.  I cannot believe I am saying this, but I CANNOT WAIT to go to the gym.  It has been so long since I felt good enough to get really good exercise.  I am hoping that this Friday will be the day!

I hope all of you all have had a blessed holiday.  I love Easter.  It is abosolutely my favorite holiday of the year.

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This year I was especially appreciative of the real meaning of the holiday.  I couldn’t help but reflect on how different my life is now than it was at this time last year.  Last April I was still very much consumed with grief over losing my sweet mom and I had developed terrible anxiety over developing cancer myself.  I had frequent panic attacks and my troubles were starting to really interfere with my relationships, my job, my daily functioning, and my health.  My fear over cancer is what eventually led me to get BRCA testing last July and when I got my positive diagnosis I felt consumed and more hopeless than ever.

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However, shortly after finding out I carried the gene, everything started falling into place for me.  I found amazing doctors, developed a great plan of action, and my friends and family rallied around me.  With every step I made toward mastectomy, the better I felt…. and once I had the surgery, I not only felt my anxiety dissipate, but I felt more peace toward losing my sweet mom.  Having surgery helped me finally turn 10 years of cancer paralyzation and grief into a story of hope and strength.

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Since my surgery, I have felt more full of life everyday. I know I have more surgeries in front of me and my health is not guaranteed, but I have learned through all of this that God is taking care of me and I can trust Him to work all things together for good.  He gave me doctors when I needed guidance and expertise, amazing friends when I needed family, healing when I was broken, and hope when all I’d felt was sadness.  He  took my own personal nightmare and turned it into a true blessing.

As I celebrate Easter today, I am so thankful for the resurrection.  For me, the Easter story is the ultimate story of hope and it is God’s promise to us that all things, even when they seem the worst, can turn out for the better… winter will turn into spring, night will turn into morning, tragedies can turn into triumphs, nightmares can turn into blessings, death can turn into life.

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I hope you all had a blessed holiday.

Jayne

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